Thursday, March 15, 2012

There's an app for that.

A twitter friend of mine teased me the other day, asking if there was an entry planned in the DSM-V for Apple addicts.

My first response was to joke "There's an app for that."

But then I came curious. Who could say? Perhaps a new addiction had crept into my Closet of Neuroses. (50 kronkites if you catch the reference. I will love you and hug you and squeeze you.)

So like anyone in the golden age of the Internet, I went and googled that.

What I found was amusing until it became alarming. From PC World's "8 Signs You're an Apple Addict:"

1. You have a nightmare about lost/broken iPhone. Nope.
2. You can't pass an Apple store without entering. Uhh...
3. You're a troll calling yourself "AppleHatersSuck." Definitely no.
4. iTunes is your favorite place to shop. Nice, but no. It's my one stop-shopping place for music, but I get my ebooks from whoever has them for less (and usually iBooks is the most expensive vendor) and I don't tend to buy movies online. Although I have rented two from iTunes.
5. You're infatuated with Steve Jobs. No, but I did mourn his passing. RIP Steve.
6. You bought multiple iPhone cases. Ok, that's not really fair. I got the free one, then decided to get another one because the free one was just, well, ugly. Life is too short to have ugly. The I got one designed just for me from Cafe Press and I loved it...until it broke. So, now on the hunt for another one. But it's not like I change the cases out with the seasons or some crazy thing like that. I love the idea, but don't have the cash for such an expensive taste. So this on this one, I say the jury's out.
7. You can outrun the Energizer buddy.  HA! Nope.

and finally:

8. You name your iPhone "My Precious."  A Stanford survey caught a few students naming their iPhone and even patting it like a puppy. One out of four described the iPhone as an extension of their brain or body. iPhone addicts also tend to be loners, constantly staring into the device, even mesmerized by it. Stanford roommates living with an iPhone addict call themselves "iPhone widows." 

OK, WHO'S BEEN SPYING ON ME?! WHO?!...ugh, I plead the 5th. Because that is just messed up. Stalking people just to make a point in an arcane article (put out by PC Magazine no less, I mean c'mon it's ok but nowhere near the quality and integrity of oh, I don't know, MACWORLD) is a sign of serious trouble. But besides that, the fact that I've named my iPhone(s) My Preciousssss, or that I refer to it as my Other Brain, means nothing. Got that? Nothing.

I'm perfectly fine. I can stop whenever I want to. Which I don't. But if I wanted to, I could.

So there.


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